If you want to go to a party, have one.


From time to time I have been on the receiving end of a complaint or rant whereby someone is telling me that they did not get invited to a party, were not included in a meeting, did not get “the email”  or were just plain left out of a conversation. And being the curious type that I am I wanted to figure out why it was that this situation befell a few people way more than others.  There could be a tendency to feel bad for people who appear to be left out of activities.  But the more I dug in the more I realized that it was not that the person was left out – in fact they had taken themselves out of the game, out of the conversation and out of range by their own behavior and activities (or lack thereof).  For some reason they thought that opportunity was to be given to them.  That just because they are here they should get an invite.  And to this point I cannot state it better than the card that I received very early in my career and in it was a quote from Thomas Edison – he stated “opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work”.  I took his point of view to heart and realized that rather than being a victim, instead of being left out and, to avoid all possibility that I might miss that next opportunity I shifted my mindset and started doing those things that others seemed not willing to do nor interested in trying.  And so here are a few tenets for living THPL where you are included and central to the conversation and the outcome:

If you want to go to a party…then have one – forget waiting for others to invite you. There is nothing easier and more fun than hosting a party.  You pick who you want to come, you have the food you like, and you can even play your kind of music. What could be better?  And if you want to take it to another level – make it an annual, monthly or regular event.  You will create tradition and then be known for it.  And then your popularity will have been earned and that is quite the satisfying feeling.

Volunteer often and aggressively – there are many instances when someone you work with, or for, will ask a group of people who wants to take on a new task?  This task is in addition to their current job - if one of these requests comes your way then say yes all the time.  It fundamentally changes your career trajectory.  You are seen as a team player, you learn more, you get more efficient, and you set yourself up for the next great project.  Everyone that matters notices members of the team who are willing to play big – this is your chance to show that you can do it.

When you want to know something – then ask.  Do not wait till your boss or your peers decide to tell you something.  And do not read anything into their lack of communication as something nefarious.  Take control and just ask the question – they will always answer.  And if they can’t they would definitely not have told you.  Bottom line is to find out what is going on is your responsibility.  To be informed you need to do some work, you cannot sit there and expect a gift box set of insights and ideas.  They are there – go take them.

Positive energy begets more positive energy.   Bees and honey, flowers and a smile, help and enthusiasm.  All arguably the simple things that make all the difference.  Say thank you, reach out and make others positive because you are. Remember that like objects attract. To get into the good flow you already need to be there. 

Simple thoughts and proven practices are all too often ignored.    THPL is enabled when these tenets are used sincerely and regularly and the reward is even better than a party when what you spreads far and wide, then great things indeed do happen.

Sally till the end 3:26 +20 seconds.  Hoping someone is approaching three minutes. The 4:17 song produced 187 pushups.  16 miles of running, five Ted videos, some work and a few other activities and I can call it a great day.  

Loving life, on a Sunday - so much for the day of rest!